Winter Helpers

Paper People

Ive been working on a project where I make small distorted miniature sculptures from Shakespearean texts and creating photography of them in everyday settings !

Self Portrait

Spirited Away

Sea Of Light

Sea of Light

Confessions

Honestly?
Honestly I can’t say.
I can’t bring myself to answer
any questions you need to ask
Because my words don’t seem real right now
I’m hoping it doesn’t last
Even though that would mean more change
and I’m still coping with the past
Which apparently I let go of long ago,
But it still breaks my heart to see its photos on the wall
to see the dust settling in its abandoned room
It still leaves me
a little bit empty
because I still cant fill the space it left behind

So right now I’m a little bit lost.
And i dont think Ive felt this way before
because before was alot darker
And I spent most of it hiding away in dark caves behind waterfalls
to weak to drink its water and to blind to see outside
it was tough
but in least I had focus
I could take the punches since I saw them coming
but right now
I get puched then feel the hit

and grains of sand feel like the size of planets
because I just feel so small
and I hope that if i find myself
ill be enough
to look someone honestly in the eye
because honestly right now I just need to get away
I just need to find a place I can call home and run away from it
and return to it
humbley a few years late
and hope im enough to let me walk through its hallways

Right now I keep running
not away fro problems
not towards the future
i just keep running
and hope that thats enough

I wanted to change and realized I was worse off
so the lower I get the harder it is to stand tall and I promise you im trying so hard
the past few months has been a silent battle ground
and before that at least I heard gunshots
so everything made sense

So Honestly?
Honestly I can’t say.
I can’t bring myself to answer
any questions you need to ask
Because my words don’t seem real right now
I’m hoping it doesn’t last
and Im hoping that dreaming will last forever
because waking up is both beautiful and painful
and it hurts to feel so alone
and trapped
and pathetic again
and if there’s any hand out there willing to pull me up
I cant accept you
im sorry
i just need to be alone
far away
Because I can get through this
even if only on the outside

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Hammers And Strings

Jacks Mannequin
“Hammer And Strings (A Lullaby)”
These hammers and strings
Been following me around
From a box filled garage
To the dark punk rock clubs
Of 1000 American towns
And my friend calls me up
She says, “how have you been?”
I say, “dear I’ve been well,
Yeah the money’s coming
But I miss you like hell.
I still hear you in this
Old piano, oh yeah.”
She says, “Andy, I know
That we don’t talk as much
But I still hear your ghost
In these old punk rock clubs
Come on, write me a song
Give me something to trust
Just promise you won’t let it be
Just the keys that you touch.”
Give me something to believe in,
A breath from the breathing
So write it down,
I don’t think that I’ll close my eyes
‘Cause lately I’m not dreaming
So what’s the point in sleeping?
It’s just that at night,
I’ve got nowhere to hide
So I write you a lullaby
A lullaby
These hammers and strings
Been following me around
Behind passenger vans
Through the snow, dirt, and sands
Of 1000 American towns
And my friend calls me up
With her heart heavy still
She says, “Andy, the doctors
Prescribed me the pills.
But I know I’m not crazy.
I just lost my will.
So why am I, why am I
Taking them still?”
I need something to believe in
A breath from the breathing
So write it down,
I don’t think that I’ll close my eyes
‘Cause lately I’m not dreaming
So what’s the point in sleeping?
It’s just that at night,
I’ve got nowhere to hide
To the sleepless, this is my reply:
I will write you a lullaby,
A lullaby.
Give me something to believe in,
So write it down,
I don’t think that I’ll close my eyes
‘Cause lately I’m not dreaming
So what’s the point in sleeping?
It’s just that at night,
I’ve got nowhere to hide
To the sleepless, this is my reply:
I’ll write you a lullaby
A lullaby, a lullaby, a lullaby

The Music Of What You Had To Say

 

 

“And now I know something of how a piano must feel when it looks at the fireplace to see sheet music being used for kindling,
Smoke signalling the end of some song that I thought it would take too long to learn. Now I just sit here watching you burn away all those notes I never had a chance to play, to hear the music of what you had to say.”

Move Pen Move , Shane koyczan

Wishes

I realized all to soon wishes and prayers did nothing unless you lit the candle yourself and watched it flicker safely filled with hope , surrounded by tears of everyone hoping the flame never dies out.