Run-Away Luggage

I just wanted you to know
2nd best is no longer good enough
Although let’s pretend it is since you will never be enough for 1st
Also, I just thought I should tell you that you became
Everything you never wanted to be
And you can only redeem yourself
By never being you again

Because you made some mistakes
Being  stubborn enough to stick to your ever changing ways
That meant no one understood
And on the surface that felt pretty good but really
Deep down
It was just to create distance
Since in reality your couldn’t travel far away
You couldn’t just pack up your bags and leave
Even though every bone in your body was dying to be free
You’d already pre-packed everything ready to go
Ready to fly to a place so far away just to start again
Where it wouldn’t matter if you were 2nd or 1st
Because you would never need to compete…
A place where you will be enough
Where the only weight you ever had to carry
Was the burden of a late train
Where you no longer felt like everybody’s luggage

Maybe you could swim so far to sea you cant turn back
And finally reach Never Land
You’d never need to grow up or worry
So you never have to understand
Or bear the pain of knowledge

Yet Never Land can’t exist for you
And no matter how far you travel
Youll never find a place to tuck your suitcase away
To sit by the warmth of a stove late at night
You’ll always be out in the snow
Calling for a place to call home
You’ll never be enough and it doesn’t matter where you are that’s not going to change
You can travel the world
Abandon everyone
Push or pull them as close as you like
But they’ll never see you
You’re not enough of a person to look into their eyes

So I just wanted you too know
You don’t need to get out of bed tomorrow
No one really wants you
No where really needs you
So just sleep
Now maybe the oxygen you breath wont be a waste
And maybe on day
You’ll take the courage to grab the suitcase and go
Without a single goodbye
Or final hello
Or maybe you wont be  luggage You’ll just leave that behind
And start again
Far away

Forget who you were
Who you tried to be
So even if youre standing alone
In least you’ll be on your way to find a home

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How to be human / Skyline

If I should have children I won’t raise them to be Christian, Buddhist or sihk , I wont teach them to pray to a God to help heal a sick relative or friend in need. I wont teach them that they will be rewarded if they do good and be punished if they commit a crime under the justification they are being eternally judged on the predicament of whether or not they can enter some spiritual infinity filled with either love or hate.
I wont ever teach them that.
Ill teach them to be human.
Every other label they wish to decorate themselves with, be it Muslim or Jewish, is their choice. I’d want to teach them that to help that sick relative or friend in need , the best you can do, is be kind. Show support.
Know you cant cure them. You can only acknowledge them, and that that will make them feel better.  After all everything’s only for a little while.
As painful as it might be, Ill teach them that you can do all the good in the world and never be rewarded or appreciated for it, so please take the reward in the actions themselves, and that you commit as many crimes as you want and never be punished for them, but that doesn’t mean you should commit them.

My dear, I’ll say, this world is confusing and painful and filled with sacrifice, so be ready for change. Moments are more useful than the overall. They’ll abuse you and use you only to kiss your neck and hold you close but they’ll never beg forgiveness. And honestly dear, that’s beautiful.Because it means you’re alive. You’re living. And I hope you’re listening,  because when you listen to someones words and actions , you’ll begin to understand them.Even if they don’t understand them self. And i cry, its OK, you can go now, I understand – there’s more you need to see.

I’ll say, darling – you will feel pain. And I’m so sorry. And if I could I would take it all away, but I just can’t so please bare with it. Please know that it will get better one day and till then prepared to feel hurt, to feel empty, to feel lost. and just learn to cope as best you can and learn to hope with all your might, because hope
helps you win a fight
But sweetheart, you’re going to get broken. And once you’ve learned how to be fixed, and when you have repaired all the shattered pieces, there’ll still be marks- but wear them as medals because you’re a survivor of a war that everyone fights, but not many win. And know that the hardest part is probably afterwards. When you’ve won.
Because chances are,
you didn’t plan anything past that.
And that’s ok. You’re only human.
But in reality, you’re so much more.

If I should have children Ill tell them to explore the sky with their soul. Ill tell them the find the stars and never let them go since those stars, are everything we are, and everything we’ll be. And all that separates us is the skyline. I wont teach them that everything they are isn’t good enough, and I wont let anyone ever teach them that either. I won’t teach them that life’s easy, but Ill teach them that its beautiful, that complexity allows simplicity to shine through and that if the light wont reach you in time when you’ve fallen down a hole, go and fine wonderland. Go on an adventure and see where it goes and don’t let anyone stop you.

If I should have children, Ill teach them how to be human, how to love, how to carry on. And if they are anything like me- they wont listen. But in least I tried and I know they’ll find out everything for them self. They’ll learn things I could never teach them, that I never knew and maybe even one day, when I’m more of memory ready to leave for never land, they’ll hold me and they’ll cry
It’s OK
You can go now
There’s more you need to see
It’s only for a while we’ll be apart
And when we look at the stars
We’ll never let them go
Because we wont ever let you go
After all, all that separates us
Is the skyline

If I should have children, Ill teach them how to be human and hope they’ll live enough to know they are so much more.

 

Image

You

You

A photo for one of my previous pieces 🙂

You

As Einstein once said
‘Cold doesn’t exist,
just the absence of warmth’
Which I think is a beautiful thing
As I realise
Sorrow doesn’t actually exist,
Just the absence of love
Yet we dress that up in colour-filled costumes
with scripts of rage
Throwing it on stage
So it can be seen
So it can be heard…

That’s the thing, people don’t really listen
they just hear
They don’t understand that the words that you speak
will have come from somewhere
That these words will have explored the very depths of your soul
and may have come from that book that you read one rainy day
that made you cry
because it had the same echo your friends laugh did
And that moment somehow metamorphosed into gloss on the tip of your lips
And you wished
that someone would pour in like rain
in the middle of a deathly drought
where sweet rays of honey scorch your baby-soft skin,
And wash away all that makeup

Because we’re all the same.

I wonder will someone ever hold my hand and understand
All that I am
And know I’m not crazy
Or insane,
I’m just constantly on the brink of realisation of what it is to be human,
to be alive
In all its entirety?
Will that person just flick through these novels in my mind
or will they get so entranced by them they’ll be late for an interview
but won’t care
They’ll just carry on reading till they realise that they
are writing alongside with me?
We won’t need fiction
When re-writing this reality is fantasy in itself
Since all we need to do is look up at some non-existent celestial body of mass,
An endless photograph of the past,
Knowing our eyes see them
The same eyes that were made of those very recycled stars
Because we’re all just arguably-crafted clumps of atoms
Who have added meaning
To a heart beat

So when Einstein said
‘Cold doesn’t exist,
Just the absence of warmth’
I gaze at my skin covered in goose bumps
I understand
I’m not cold, nor sad
Something’s just absent
And I pray to some boundless infinity
That I’ll find it soon

In a recycled universe

That turns out

To be you.

Aside

Moments

I’m trying.
I don’t know why or what for I just wanted you to know
I’m trying.
I’m trying to be happy
To be human
To be me
And somehow I’m finding that very difficult,
But I know I’m not the only one
so in least I’m not alone.
Because how can you be alone here?
We’re compromised of stars recycled into souls
Consisting of particles twinned with those we love most
Even if we haven’t met them yet.
We’re graced with neuron light shows when we shut the world away
Entranced by the visual snow
open eyes would never understand.
So how can we ever have the audacity to feel alone?
When we are made up of atoms and atoms make us Matter
Because we matter.
That can never be taken away
It can’t be created or destroyed
It can only exist in that moment
In the second the hand ticks
In the blink of an eye
or in the hug of breath around a birthday cakes candle.
Its an eternal state of temporary
So prepared to feel lost
Prepare to feel the pull of life as it drags you down
As it slows time before stopping it altogether
Be prepared for that moment
And if that moment isn’t good enough
And if it begins to tear you apart
Then become a quasar.
Be prepared to change
Because that’s when you shine brightest
When awe-struck suns freeze before fervently taking notes in desperation to compare
Let scientists campaign on chat shows in attempts to gain your vote all on the off chance you’ll whisper them your secrets in understanding your light,
Because its the light that people see.
And I can guarantee they’re basking in it
Like ghosts tanning to color , Sun bathing in
Your knowledge
Absorbing all the rays they can get
So in turn they can learn to emit their own warmth
And if your light begins to subdue
Surround yourself  with people who’ll return the favour
And if your light begins to die
They’ll lend you theirs
Re-sparking the flame as if alighting a candle with hope in hospital waiting rooms
as visitors beg ‘Never let your light die out’
And you won’t
Because if laughing for 20 minutes adds 5 years to your life
then at this rate you’re immortal
You’re fearless like a lion
but remember
Don’t let your pride be your fall
Don;t obey some circus whip ass you reach for fame
Only to snap like a branch under pressure that crushes you as you cry
I tried mother, I tried
Because you’re not doing this for them.
You’re doing this for you
So stand stronger than Everest and watch as people try to conquer your greatest peaks
Be as accepting as a river is to diversity
And never let your waters choke on the pollution from the industrialized excuses politicians promote
Be authentic in your words and in turn your honesty
will be rewarded with wisdom
Surrender yourself to simplicity
And watch as all the clutter gets thrown away
Do your best to be every moment
and if you can’t
then try.
So please, please appreciate what I’m trying to tell you
and what I’m telling you is
I’m trying.

 

Dusk

Image

It is now that  the beauty of existing is most profound. 

The noise of the day
receding into silhouettes,
The sky returning to its global stage even though the audience
has already gone home.
And only the homeless and the insomniacs left to appreciate the spectacle. 
After all only the sleepless understand the true depth 
of time.
And only the sleepless get to see the real show 
Everyone else was sold fake tickets to one-night-only delusions
That will be forgotten when the sun violently wakes to blind them.  
After all, the sun isn’t as humble as the night. 

It is now the weights of the day are dissolved 
by the simple quiet of twilight 
Everything that makes us human 
becomes nurtured and eased,
At rest with the acceptance that we exist. 
That our skin is just for show 
and that the only time we actually feel is 
when we are touched. 
When our nerves lie still and yet the curtain of rain causes fresh 
drops to seep past the muscular barrier 
We all hide behind 

It is now the grace of calm holds us close
When the stars lapse the beaches of humanity like 
Glowing algae kissing the shying salt flats of Bolivia. 
Yet all we ever do is stare. 
Hoping for a Shakespearean-style tragedy 
So we can all wish upon a burning flame,
Reaching out to feel the pain of something very real. 
The mark  it left reminding us of all the hurt in reality. 
And how wishing wont make it any better. 
Because the burn 
The scar 
The memory
Became a story you could tell 
A story from the long nights where we didn’t need to wish. 
We just needed to dream,
Even if that meant having more drinks than usual. 
Because I’m not placing
My hopes,
My dreams,
My future 
Into something that’s adrift  in an emptiness far vaster than my soul. 

So please excuse me if I take solace in the shadow of the world reserved for the restless,
Knowing we only rest-less 
as no comfort 
has ever satisfied our curiosity.
I apologize if I disappear at dusk;
I am just escaping the lust
of what the world has become and
not what it is. Beautiful. Magical 
And ever so slightly 
lost 
And I’m sorry that during the day my body is present only as an actor 
Projecting what it is to survive and not to live
because honestly 
I belong to the night.
I belong to a solar system not a country,
A universe not a race 
I am an existence
and that is 
beautiful. 

You

You
As Einstein once said
‘Cold doesn’t exist,
just the absence of warmth’
Which I think is a beautiful thing

As I realise
Sorrow doesn’t actually exist,
Just the absence of love
Yet we dress that up in chromatic costumes
with scripts of rage
Thrusting it on stage
So it can be seen;
So it can be heard…

That’s the thing, people don’t really listen
they just hear
They don’t understand that the words that you speak
will have begun somewhere
That these melodies will have scrutinized the very depths of your soul
and may have come from that book that you read one rainy day
and made you cry
because it had the same echo your friends laugh did
Somehow that moment metamorphosed into gloss on the tip of your lips
And you wished
that someone would pour in like rain
in the middle of a deathly drought
where sweet rays of honey scorch your baby-soft skin,
And wash away all that makeup

Because we’re all the same.

I wonder will someone ever hold my hand and understand
All that I am
And know I’m not crazy
Or insane,
I’m just constantly on the brink of realisation of what it is to be human,
to be alive
In all its entirety?
Will that person just flick through these novels in my mind
or will they get so entranced by them they’ll be late for an interview
but won’t care
They’ll just carry on reading till they realise that they
are writing alongside with me?
We won’t need fiction
When re-writing this reality is fantasy in itself
Since all we need to do is look up at some non-existent celestial body of mass,
An endless photograph of the past,
Knowing our eyes see them
The same eyes that were made of those very recycled stars
Because we’re all just arguably-crafted clumps of atoms
Who have added meaning
To a heart beat

So when Einstein said
‘Cold doesn’t exist,
Just the absence of warmth’
I gaze at my skin covered in goose bumps
I understand
I’m not cold, nor sad
Something’s just absent
And I pray to some boundless infinity
That I’ll find it soon

In a recycled universe

That turns out

To be you.